Maybe this is a nature vs. nurture situation. Maybe it is just within certain people's natures to travel solo, or maybe only those who were reared to be independent can travel solo. I don't care who you are, where you're from, or what you've done; everyone should take a trip by themselves at least once in their lives. It might be like Green Eggs and Ham where you don't know you like it, because you've never tried it!
A lot of people do not believe me whenever I tell them I'm going somewhere by myself. Seriously. They do NOT believe me. Lying about travelling alone makes no sense to me, but then again, me travelling alone seems to not make sense to them either. Whenever I manage to convince someone I am really going somewhere all by myself, they always say "Oh my goodness. I could never do that.", "Why?", or "How do you do that? You're so brave/crazy. I could never do that." I don't think I've ever told someone, and had them respond with, "I've always wanted to do that!"
I took my first solo trip when I was 18, and I spent the summer backpacking Britain. My dad is from England, so my parents weren't too worried. I often look back and wonder what they were thinking. Did they really have that much confidence in me, or did they genuinely not think about the dangerous possibilities? Granted, if I ever felt lonely, scared, or bored, I had family and family friends to visit. I've been lucky enough for my parents to have taught me to be independent. I felt more than ready for my first trip alone; I could never have anticipated how much it would change me. Did my parents know something I did not?
1. You are the truest version of yourself, when no one is watching.
It is probably the most liberating feeling to go somewhere where no one knows you; no one has any expectations from you. Everyone you meet is a stranger. You can reinvent yourself every time you meet someone if you want. What you will discover is, being in these new strange situations reveals a person you may not have realized was hiding within yourself. It allows you to discover these little pieces of yourself that have never had the opportunity to come out before.
Something to know about me: I don't drink. I remember, on my first trip alone, going to visit a family friend and her offering me a beer. She said, "Don't worry, I won't tell your parents." I knew she wouldn't. I knew what I did on that trip at 18 would probably never get back to anyone I knew, especially my parents. I also knew, I was not that person. I learned so much. I learned I am super uncomfortable with meeting new people, but I also learned I am really good at meeting new people, when I just do it. I learned how much I love to read in public places, i.e. parks, restaurants, trains, airports, etc. I learned that people in foreign countries are always in a state of disbelief when I tell them I do not have a boyfriend. I learned how much I hate tourists, especially American tourists. I learned the kindness of strangers and that gentlemen still exist. You will learn so much about yourself and about people and the world around you when you travel alone.
2.There's no comfort in a growth zone, and there's no growth in a comfort zone.
 |
| Just try it before you decide you do not like it. |
I took my first solo trip when I was 18, and I spent the summer backpacking Britain. My dad is from England, so my parents weren't too worried. I often look back and wonder what they were thinking. Did they really have that much confidence in me, or did they genuinely not think about the dangerous possibilities? Granted, if I ever felt lonely, scared, or bored, I had family and family friends to visit. I've been lucky enough for my parents to have taught me to be independent. I felt more than ready for my first trip alone; I could never have anticipated how much it would change me. Did my parents know something I did not?
1. You are the truest version of yourself, when no one is watching.
It is probably the most liberating feeling to go somewhere where no one knows you; no one has any expectations from you. Everyone you meet is a stranger. You can reinvent yourself every time you meet someone if you want. What you will discover is, being in these new strange situations reveals a person you may not have realized was hiding within yourself. It allows you to discover these little pieces of yourself that have never had the opportunity to come out before.
Something to know about me: I don't drink. I remember, on my first trip alone, going to visit a family friend and her offering me a beer. She said, "Don't worry, I won't tell your parents." I knew she wouldn't. I knew what I did on that trip at 18 would probably never get back to anyone I knew, especially my parents. I also knew, I was not that person. I learned so much. I learned I am super uncomfortable with meeting new people, but I also learned I am really good at meeting new people, when I just do it. I learned how much I love to read in public places, i.e. parks, restaurants, trains, airports, etc. I learned that people in foreign countries are always in a state of disbelief when I tell them I do not have a boyfriend. I learned how much I hate tourists, especially American tourists. I learned the kindness of strangers and that gentlemen still exist. You will learn so much about yourself and about people and the world around you when you travel alone.
2.There's no comfort in a growth zone, and there's no growth in a comfort zone.
Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.” It's not always the most comforting thing being in new situations or being around people you don't know, but you will grow. It's not always the most comfortable thing going to a hostel for the first time in your life and trying to figure out how everything works. The most important thing you need to remember is...You will get use to it, and you will love it. As you are willingly placing yourself in new situations, you will really learn the meaning of carpe diem, because everyday will be a gift just for you. Everyday will be a blessing for which to be grateful.
In this day of technology, it is as if we cannot do a single thing without having to tell the whole world and wait for their approval. People go to restaurants with friends, take photos of their food, and wait for others to "like" what they are doing. That's called codependency. Codependency, "in broader terms...refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another" (Wikipedia definition) In this society, we are co-dependent on the approval of others; we need it; we depend on it. It is so freeing to leave that all behind, and be alone. If you are saying that you cannot go on a trip because your friend(s) cannot come with you, you are limiting yourself. Why can't you go? If you want something bad enough, you shouldn't wait for someone else to tell you you can have it. I am a true believer that you have to love yourself. I can go somewhere and still enjoy it without having a friend with me. I don't need someone with me to appreciate the beauty and peace of new places or experiences. I think that is an experience everyone should try once in their life.
4. The people you meet, who you probably wouldn't have spoken to if you were with a group
Maybe it's just me, but I find a lot of people do this. When you are with a group of friends, you are with your group of friends. You normally do not go out of your way to include new people or strangers to your group. I went to Milford Sound in New Zealand by myself. It was a bus ride out to the area before the cruise, and they stopped multiple times along the way to get out and take photos. If I was with a friend, I would have had a person to sit next to and take my photos. Instead, I had to find someone to take photos for me. I found a really cool guy who was also travelling alone. We sat by each other and took photos for each other. We then met a girl on the boat who was travelling alone. We had a great time talking, sharing our life stories, and having so much fun. It was like we had been best friends forever. When you are travelling, you bond so quickly with friends. It's so wonderful and beautiful.
5. Freedom. Do what you want, when you want.
Don't get me wrong. I love planning trips for me and my friends. I love it. True love and friendship is compromising and changing travel plans to make everyone happy. Nevertheless, there is pure freedom in doing whatever you want. One day in Germany, I walked around for a while, then spent hours having lunch and reading at a table, while drinking hot chocolate. It is something I would have never done if I had people travelling with me, but it was a perfect day for little old me. You can change plans last minute. You can be as impulsive and spontaneous as you want without having to check if it's okay with someone else. It's freeing.
Even after you read this you are probably thinking, "But Natasha...."
But Natasha, isn't dangerous to travel alone, especially if you're a girl?
Nowadays, there are legitimately dangerous places and dangerous things. I'm not saying to go travel Syria or Afghanistan alone in this political climate. Read the news. Be aware of travel alerts. Avoid North Korea if you are an American tourist. Please be smart and be careful, especially as a female traveler. Don't get drunk in foreign countries when you are alone. Don't get drunk in foreign countries at all is my personal recommendation, but if you cannot help it, at least have someone who is going to be sober enough to make sure you get to your hotel/hostel safely with all your belongings. I knew a girl who left her wallet in bars when she got drunk and never found them again. I've had a friend lose my camera because she was super drunk in Mexico. I've been pick-pocketed in Madrid, but that has not stopped me from travelling alone. It makes me travel smarter. I try not to be out at night when I'm alone, especially when there aren't many people around. Invest in a money belt. Always be aware of your surroundings.
But Natasha, I want to be able to share what I do with someone.
Share it with someone. Take photos and share them when you get back. Make a friend where you are staying. Make friends on the tours you are taking. I went to Belize on my own, and did a scuba tour and a tour for the ATM caves. On the ATM tour, I met this British girl who was travelling alone, and we had the best time together. We were immediate friends and the repertoire we had was amazing. I had someone to share the amazing experience with. On one of the snorkeling tours I went on, I actually met a girl who was going to be on the same flight as me home, so we decided to take a taxi together to the airport. Just because you don't bring someone to share the trip with, doesn't mean you won't find someone along the way.
But Natasha, how are you supposed to meet people travelling alone?
My number one recommendation to meet people is hostels. No, I did not misspell the word "hotel". Hostels. Hostels are meant for younger travelers who want to meet people. Most hostels have common rooms to socialize. It's a great opportunity to make new friends, share a meal, and make plans for the next day. If you hear that some people are doing something cool, talk to them; most of the time, they will be more than happy to let you come along.
But Natasha, I don't have the money.
Save. Save your pennies. Put away a certain percentage of each paycheck. If you haven't traveled before, make a goal. Write it down and tell your friends so they can hold you accountable. You can do anything you put your mind to.
But Natasha, I've never traveled alone before; I wouldn't know how to do it.
Don't get me wrong, I think everyone should take a solo trip once in their life, but I'm not saying it should be the first trip outside your home country that you've ever taken. If it's your first big international trip, go with someone if it makes you comfortable. Start small. Take a weekend to a different city by yourself.
But Natasha, if I go, I'll probably get robbed.
Honestly, it's a possibility. I'm not going to lie to you. I've met people who carry fake wallets in case they are robbed. Personally, I think you're more likely to be pick-pocketed then outright robbed. I have been pick-pocketed. I was mad; I felt violated, and as someone who thinks they are pretty well-traveled, my pride was wounded. My friend and I had our wallets stolen at the exact same time, and we didn't realize it. It was on the metro in Madrid, and we only found out because my friend had her metro pass in her wallet and couldn't find it to exit the metro. Buy a money belt. Keep money in your bra, if you are a girl...or boy...no judgement. Touristy areas are always where you need to be most aware. There are certain cities known for pick-pocketers. Be aware. I was not. They will try and distract you in order to pickpocket you. Never leave your bag unattended. It was really upsetting, luckily I had only 20 euros in my wallet, my drivers license, a few personal items, and a credit card, which I quickly cancelled, so no major irreversible damage was done. Now, I have a really great story, and I know if I'm ever robbed again, I will live. I'm a survivor.
But Natasha, I don't have enough vacation time.
You don't have to plan a large vacation. Have a three-day weekend getaway. Leave after work Friday night, and come back Sunday night. Do what you gotta do; be you.
But Natasha, I'm scared/nervous.
It's okay to be nervous. It's okay to be scared. The idea is to conquer your fears and nerves. I think there are two quotes that can apply here. Marianne Williams once said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." I also think the 4 lines I love most from "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley would be great too:
In this day of technology, it is as if we cannot do a single thing without having to tell the whole world and wait for their approval. People go to restaurants with friends, take photos of their food, and wait for others to "like" what they are doing. That's called codependency. Codependency, "in broader terms...refers to the dependence on the needs of, or control of, another" (Wikipedia definition) In this society, we are co-dependent on the approval of others; we need it; we depend on it. It is so freeing to leave that all behind, and be alone. If you are saying that you cannot go on a trip because your friend(s) cannot come with you, you are limiting yourself. Why can't you go? If you want something bad enough, you shouldn't wait for someone else to tell you you can have it. I am a true believer that you have to love yourself. I can go somewhere and still enjoy it without having a friend with me. I don't need someone with me to appreciate the beauty and peace of new places or experiences. I think that is an experience everyone should try once in their life. 4. The people you meet, who you probably wouldn't have spoken to if you were with a group
Maybe it's just me, but I find a lot of people do this. When you are with a group of friends, you are with your group of friends. You normally do not go out of your way to include new people or strangers to your group. I went to Milford Sound in New Zealand by myself. It was a bus ride out to the area before the cruise, and they stopped multiple times along the way to get out and take photos. If I was with a friend, I would have had a person to sit next to and take my photos. Instead, I had to find someone to take photos for me. I found a really cool guy who was also travelling alone. We sat by each other and took photos for each other. We then met a girl on the boat who was travelling alone. We had a great time talking, sharing our life stories, and having so much fun. It was like we had been best friends forever. When you are travelling, you bond so quickly with friends. It's so wonderful and beautiful.
5. Freedom. Do what you want, when you want.
Don't get me wrong. I love planning trips for me and my friends. I love it. True love and friendship is compromising and changing travel plans to make everyone happy. Nevertheless, there is pure freedom in doing whatever you want. One day in Germany, I walked around for a while, then spent hours having lunch and reading at a table, while drinking hot chocolate. It is something I would have never done if I had people travelling with me, but it was a perfect day for little old me. You can change plans last minute. You can be as impulsive and spontaneous as you want without having to check if it's okay with someone else. It's freeing.
But Natasha, isn't dangerous to travel alone, especially if you're a girl?
Nowadays, there are legitimately dangerous places and dangerous things. I'm not saying to go travel Syria or Afghanistan alone in this political climate. Read the news. Be aware of travel alerts. Avoid North Korea if you are an American tourist. Please be smart and be careful, especially as a female traveler. Don't get drunk in foreign countries when you are alone. Don't get drunk in foreign countries at all is my personal recommendation, but if you cannot help it, at least have someone who is going to be sober enough to make sure you get to your hotel/hostel safely with all your belongings. I knew a girl who left her wallet in bars when she got drunk and never found them again. I've had a friend lose my camera because she was super drunk in Mexico. I've been pick-pocketed in Madrid, but that has not stopped me from travelling alone. It makes me travel smarter. I try not to be out at night when I'm alone, especially when there aren't many people around. Invest in a money belt. Always be aware of your surroundings.
But Natasha, I want to be able to share what I do with someone.
Share it with someone. Take photos and share them when you get back. Make a friend where you are staying. Make friends on the tours you are taking. I went to Belize on my own, and did a scuba tour and a tour for the ATM caves. On the ATM tour, I met this British girl who was travelling alone, and we had the best time together. We were immediate friends and the repertoire we had was amazing. I had someone to share the amazing experience with. On one of the snorkeling tours I went on, I actually met a girl who was going to be on the same flight as me home, so we decided to take a taxi together to the airport. Just because you don't bring someone to share the trip with, doesn't mean you won't find someone along the way.
But Natasha, how are you supposed to meet people travelling alone?
My number one recommendation to meet people is hostels. No, I did not misspell the word "hotel". Hostels. Hostels are meant for younger travelers who want to meet people. Most hostels have common rooms to socialize. It's a great opportunity to make new friends, share a meal, and make plans for the next day. If you hear that some people are doing something cool, talk to them; most of the time, they will be more than happy to let you come along.
But Natasha, I don't have the money.
Save. Save your pennies. Put away a certain percentage of each paycheck. If you haven't traveled before, make a goal. Write it down and tell your friends so they can hold you accountable. You can do anything you put your mind to.
But Natasha, I've never traveled alone before; I wouldn't know how to do it.
Don't get me wrong, I think everyone should take a solo trip once in their life, but I'm not saying it should be the first trip outside your home country that you've ever taken. If it's your first big international trip, go with someone if it makes you comfortable. Start small. Take a weekend to a different city by yourself.
But Natasha, if I go, I'll probably get robbed.
 |
| This is me after checking my purse for the billionth time for my stolen wallet. |
But Natasha, I don't have enough vacation time.
You don't have to plan a large vacation. Have a three-day weekend getaway. Leave after work Friday night, and come back Sunday night. Do what you gotta do; be you.
But Natasha, I'm scared/nervous.
It's okay to be nervous. It's okay to be scared. The idea is to conquer your fears and nerves. I think there are two quotes that can apply here. Marianne Williams once said, "Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." I also think the 4 lines I love most from "Invictus" by William Ernest Henley would be great too:
"I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul...
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."
For my unconquerable soul...
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul."
 |
| John Lenin Wall in Prague |
Disclaimer: Don't get me wrong. I love travelling with my friends and family. I love planning trips. I love it all. I also love doing little trips by myself, just to get away for a bit. You can do both; you don't have to choose. These are just the opinions of myself and no one else. Opinions not meant to insult or offend anyone's upbringing, lifestyle choices, or anything.
