Passion

Passion. You hear the word passion, and there are so many different connotations and ideas that may go through your head. This is the kind of passion you may be thinking about....

Francesco Hayez, Il bacio (1859)

Too bad for you, pervert, I will not be talking about that kind ;) I'm talking about getting excited about what you do everyday. Feeling passionate about your life and the decisions you make.

You see, I’ve been seeing a theme in my life recently. That theme is “what are you passionate about?” This started about two months ago. Maybe longer. Okay, for a while, I've been feeling very blah. Like there is nothing left for me in life. Everything I do has no point. I have no direction or goals. Blah, blah-blah, blah, blah. You get the idea. I was talking to my Bishop at church about how nothing excites me anymore and how i am feeling dead inside (cue the dramatics). His idea was "Think of something that you really love, that you feel passionate about, and do it." Say whaaaaaaat? Something I'm "passionate" about? Who even says things like that. Nevertheless, it really got me thinking. What kind of things do I find exciting? I started making a list, because I am a list maker (hence my love of lists). I thought of how one of the happiest times in my life was when I was on my mission, thinking of others before myself all the time. I wanted to get back to that. I sent in a volunteer application to the Ronald McDonald House in Houston, and noted a few other organizations that peaked my interest. I didn't want to apply to them all in case all of them wanted me, and I end up over-committing myself. I thought about how I really wanted to learn more of the scriptures, so I started making a list of scriptures I want to memorize. I also looked into some Spanish classes, but my work schedule is so unpredictable; I cannot sign up for regularly scheduled classes I have to pay for, since something may come up, and I would not be able to attend the classes I already paid for. It was really invigorating. Except the volunteering didn't happen immediately. Turns out you have to do training before you can volunteer, and finding a time slot I can attend is a wee bit tricky.

Later I came across this. My company has this central website that has articles and updates about the company. There was this article written by Mark Sanborn. There were 5 questions and descriptions of the questions that got me thinking. So the questions (with some of my answers) are:

1.      What would you do for free? Is there an activity you enjoy so much that you’d do it for free, even if other people would consider it work?
-Travel. I would travel for free forever if I could. 
-Read Harry Potter books....read most books actually
-Write a blog...oh wait....I already do that
-Watch Scandal...check.
-Sleep and/or nap

2.      What riles you? Irritation can be a great motivator. Are there problems or annoyances that drive you up the wall? Perhaps you can find your passion in fixing them.
-Human trafficking, especially the sex slave trade
-Deforestation and humans ruining animal environments
-Sexist behavior
-Racism. Even when you say it as a joke, it's still racist
-Politics
-stupid people, and uneducated people
-Genocide
-North Korea (heinous human rights violations aka their modern concentration camps)
-Women's rights, especially in rape cases, (please refer to India's most recent issues)

3.      What interests you? What do you like to read about and study? When you’re in a bookstore or a newsstand or browsing online, what piques your interest? Do you find yourself returning to the same topics again and again? Perhaps you've found your passion. Your heart may be telling you what it wants; you just need to recognize it.
-History. Especially WWII.
-Doctors Without Borders
-Memoirs of Child Soldiers in Africa
-Defectors from North Korea
-Missionary Work with The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints

4.      Who interests you? What groups of people do you tend to notice? That is, whom are you most interested in helping? Are you drawn to coach, counsel, encourage, or teach? Some people have a heart for young children. Others volunteer their time to help those who are underprivileged or live on the streets…Find out what demographic you’re wired to connect with.
-Malala Yousafzai
-Doctors Without Borders
-Ronald McDonald House

5.      What will minimize your regrets? If you have regrets at the end of your life, what do you think they’ll be? We tend to ask ourselves, Will I regret doing this? But often the better question is, Will I regret not doing this? The most common workplace regrets I hear are from people who get to the end of their careers and feel like they dedicated their lives to work they didn’t feel was important or they wasted their time just to make money.
-Not seeing the world
-Not having an impact in the world

I was having a conversation with Lindsay over lunch the other day about how in college, you have theses big ambitions of having a super successful career, traveling for work, and being in high-power positions. Now that I've been in the work force, I look at all that I've achieved. I've met ever goal I've set for myself at this phase in my life. My life has gone exactly as planned. The question is: has is everything I hoped it would be and more?

My life has put my hopes and dreams into perspective. I don't want to live my life working. I want to live my life living. I believe you can live your life with work in it, and I think that living your life working are two very different concepts. I want to enjoy life. I want to be. I want to do. I want to have a life with people in in, not just my co-workers. I want to look forward to waking up in the mornings. I want a life I'm passionate about.

A week after I had a conversation with Lindsay about my changing priorities, I had an inspiring conversation with my cousin Dan. He spoke of travelling the world, something I've always wanted to do. It's not like I haven't seen the world before, but there is so much to see and do. People always tell me "Do before you..." Have fun before you get married, buy a house, own a car, become old and boring, etc. Honestly, everyone makes marriage sound terrible and adulthood: torturous. I told my new hair stylist of my dreams, and he said "do it while you're young. you're still a baby! you have to do it now." 

I was reading this article online and the one line that stood out to me was: The person you will spend the most time with in your life is YOURSELF, so better try to make yourself as interesting as possible. I loved it. I loved it, and it further encouraged my new life plan. What is my new life plan, you may ask. Well guess what? I can't tell you. Not right now. I'm working on living in the present, and when I think of my new life plan, I get so excited for the future, I forget to enjoy the now. I have my volunteer training on Saturday, which will hopefully kick off some volunteer time. I just joined a 9 to 5 running program with Teri Jo, where you start running (walking for me) and after 9 weeks  you accomplish your goal of running a 5K. I want to build up my endurance and maybe become a runner, so I can escape if I need to run for my life.  I am have a goal of doing a Urban Survival class, so I can avoid being taken. That's right. The next year of my life is going to be a training and preparation for any adventure that can come my way...and I am excited.

PS. This is MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, not a photo I found on the internet :P