My Car and My Nerves Have Been Wrecked

I don't even know how long it's been since I wrote a blog post. I have two in draft that I haven't worked on in a while. Life has been crazy, but I think it's time for me to say something. It's going to be a therapeutic writing session, and I'm not going to go into too many details or the aftermath due to the on-going proceedings with insurance companies. I'll try to stick to basic facts.

Saturday, February 21, 2015, a little before 7:09pm I was rear-ended while stopped, waiting at a red light. I was hit with such force that all my airbags deployed, and my car went into the car in front of me. The car in front of me (Honda) went into the car in front of it (4Runner), so it was a total of four cars involved in the accident. I must have blacked-out or something, because all I remember is being stopped, looking up in my rear-view mirror, and thinking "That car is coming at me very fast." The next thing I remember is coughing from what I thought was smoke. I think it was the dust from my airbags, and it took me a bit of time to realize that's what it was or that my airbags had deployed. I called 911. I didn't talk with the girl, Nekeisha, who hit me at all. I remember thinking, "you have to take pictures. you have to take pictures." It was very hard because my hands were shaking.

You can see the deployed airbags in this picture, with some of the rear damage. There was frame damage.

My younger sister was in the accident with me. She told me that it's probably better to get off the road, because we were on the feeder of a tollway, after an event was getting out. We went into a parking lot. I started crying, shaking, and my body stopped functioning. Saryah sat next to me trying to calm me down. One of the ladies from the 4Runner got me water from one of the buildings whose parking lot we were in. One of the other ladies from the 4Runner was in front of me repeating ,"You're in shock. Just breath. Breathe. Concentrate on your breathing..."

To summarize the rest of the night: Saryah managed to get a hold of our parents. My mom came to help deal with the situation. Joshua was at a church meeting, and called as soon as he got the message that we were in an accident. He talked to Saryah and came up too. It was a crazy night, and I was taken to the hospital on a stretcher.

I was released that night and went home. The whole process of dealing with the aftermath, insurance companies, and details about my car, has been horrible. However, I would be one of the worst people if I wasn't able to look through the trauma, recognize, and be grateful for the people who have been so kind to me during this ordeal. I'm thankful for my mother, who had to put up with my crazy emotions as I yelled at her a lot that night. Joshua bought her I'm-Sorry-For-Yelling-At-You flowers on my behalf. I'm grateful for Saryah, who took care of me as I was unable to function after the accident. I'm grateful for Joshua, who came to be with me. He's been able to handle with my stress levels in the weeks since the accident, when many people cannot. I'm grateful for Greg and Steven, who showed up late at night to give me a blessing. I'm thankful for Jay, who has helped walk me through this process, and makes me feel like I'm in safe hands with him on my side. I'm grateful for Pam, who was okay with me going and looking at cars while she's supposed to be on vacation visiting me. I'm thankful for my awesome brother, who called Greg and Steven, and has helped me look at cars the past few weeks.

My car has been deemed a total loss. After much research and (literal) tears, I bought a new compact SUV, Mazda CX-5. Even though driving has become the most stress-inducing traumatic nightmare I must partake of daily, I'm glad replacing my car is over and done. One thing has been resolved, and many more are yet to come.

Muphy's Law

Murphy's Law: Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.

Now I'm not saying that I'm experiencing the side effects of Murphy's law. What I am saying is that I need to be a little on suye watch right now because life is getting crazy, and it doesn't seem to be letting up. I'm not one to be superstitious or anything, but I'm starting to get a little paranoid. 

Sunday, May 5th, I was driving home from church, like always, and I got pulled over for speeding. My first speeding ticket. Please note, cops make me very nervous. I started freaking out, trying to repress a panic attack and trying not to look suspicious. It was terrible. I dont know how people get out of tickets or what to do. I was just trying not to cry or vomit, because those are my initial responses to police situations. I was really upset with this. I went home in a state of shock and panic, having to remind myself, "it's only money. you're okay" Luckily, my brother shared wisdom and guidance with me to make me feel better and calm me down, because he's an expert at getting speeding tickets. I tried to focus on the positive. I was eating yummy salads for lunch, which made me feel very healthy. We had a fun MMA demonstration lesson for FHE by Christina. I had booked a flight to Belize, decided I hated my RayBans, and got cash out from the bank in order to pay my ticket.

I went to pay off my but they wouldn't let me do defensive driving, like I was planning. It was not an option. I chose the deferred adjudication. However, this means I have to pay the whole ticket! Bah humbug. But that's okay. I can relax. I will be fine. I went to go get a facial. Went home to surprise my parents, who had ice cream. yum yum. See? Life is already getting better. Yes?

My car is the black one

Friday night, I went out with Rachel and saw Iron Man 3. Great movie. Saturday, she came over, and we were going to meet up with Laura and carpool down to the Crawfish Boil in Galveston. False. I got in a car wreck about 0.7 miles away from my place. Really. A car turned into me. I learned 2 things at this point. 1. Mazda is correct, when you get in an accident going < 25 mph, their bumpers do not get really damaged. 2. I cannot handle these kind of situations. My brain was about to explode. Rachel was in the car with me, which I am grateful for because my brain died. I couldn't think straight. It was all a haze. We did manage to go to the Crawfish Boil with Leland and Laura and eat yummy crawfish, play in the water, and afterwards, eat crepes in Htown.

I figured, it can't get much worse, until a few days later, I was sitting at my desk when my co-worker, Jimmy came over to start a little conversation. You remember Jimmy....he's the one completely understands the concept of "leftover women" and likes to remind me that I still have a little bit more time. We were talking and I told him I was going to Belize. He said "Are you meeting your boyfriend in Belize?" I responded, "I don't have a boyfriend." He said in a very kind and  understanding manner, "Oh. Are you meeting your girlfriend?" I blurted out in shock, "NOOO!" That's when I realized, I'm ugly and Jimmy thought I was a lesbian. I'm just not as hott as I once was. No one has ever really legitimately thought I was a lesbian before. Not that there is anything wrong with lesbians, I just want everyone to know, I LIKE BOYS! I had a depressing moment that made me think of Peter Pan when they are about to defeat Captain Hook and everyone starts chanting "Old! Alone! Done for!" Yeah. Exactly like that.

After the lesbian debacle and being talked down from going to buy lots of push-up bras and more make up, I decided to focus on going to Belize. I tried to ignore my spasmodic driving when I would get nervous twitches as people tried to cut in front of me or change lanes around me. I went home that Sunday for family dinner and to pick up my waterproof camera and passport. Only then I realized, I leave for Belize in 5 days and have lost my camera charger. What in the world?!?!? I went to Best Buy on my lunch break that Tuesday and discovered that a camera charger was $50, with is half of the price of the camera! I should have just bought a new camera, but there was no time. I realized that I never memorized my credit card's pin number since I had received my new credit card. So I got out a lot of cash and hoped that I wouldn't need more otherwise I would be cashless in a foreign country. Needless to say, leaving to Belize was a much needed vacation, because I was on self-requested suey-watch.

Just kidding!

It's depressing weeks like these that I think either God's mad at me or Satan is trying to prevent me from doing something good. However, I know that God is not a vengeful person, but a loving Father in Heaven. It doesn't matter what happens in my life; He is there, and He loves me. Trials build us up and make us stronger. I have been blessed enough with trials to know that. I love them, and hope I learn the lessons they were given to me to lean. Come what may & love it!