Online...what? Dating? Seriously?

P. Bunk always said:  There's no comfort in a growth zone, and there's no growth in a comfort zone. Well P. Bunk, here's to you and one of the most influential phrases in my life. I declare 2014, my Year of Growth.

• Uncomfortable Growth Moment 1: January. I became activities co-chair. A social position. I have to talk to people and organize events. It's not bad, but after giving into my introverted anti-social self for the last half of 2013, it's a growth moment for me.
• Uncomfortable Growth Moment 2: February. I've decided I need to meet new people. A social decision. I really just work, go to the gym, and go home every day. I love my routine, but I don't meet new people. I decided I would try online dating. In this technological world, maybe that's the only way to meet new people.

My one of my co-worker uses Match.com, and he tells me and Lindsay about his experiences, which seem relatively normal. Lindsay has also meet lots of normal cool people who have told her they use Match.com. These thoughts definitely went through my head as I made my decision. I also accepted the challenge to start working on one of my new years resolutions. One of my resolutions was "Start dating again. Maybe put some effort into it". I thought of these aforementioned reasons and then was like "NOOOOOOO" because the idea of dating gives me anxiety. After being talked down the ledge and getting support from some friends and hermanita, I decided to join and LDS dating site. Saryah and I were joking about login names, and sadly, it turns out that the login name is permanent. Therefore, my login name is really ridiculous, which, I guess will help sort through guys who don't have a sense of humor, or are strange. Please see below example of a strange one.

As soon as I joined the dating website, I felt like I was going to die. Have I mentioned that the idea of dating gives me anxiety? So far, it hasn't been as terrible as I thought. I just have to stop stressing out. If I act like they are just future friends, my anxiety goes away. It's a little mind trick I'm trying out. So far, it's been effective. There is a quiz you can take on the website, and one of the questions was how do you define yourself. I couldn't choose between Comic Relief or Brains of the Operation. I was leaning towards Comic Relief (I mean, are you even reading this post?) but Erica said I was the brains. Well, if you insist. Currently, I am at about four days on a dating website, and 24 hours on Tinder. 

This is my Tinder thing. I'm forever in love with this pic
and happy Marijn took it. 

Tinder. That's right. Lindsay explained this to me a few months ago, but I'm surprised at how many people don't know what it is. A brief explanation: it is the most superficial way to meet people in the world. A picture of a person pops up, and you swipe left if you are not interested or swipe right if you are interested. If you are both interested, you get a match and have the opportunity to chat. If not, it's anonymous, so they'll never know, and you never see their picture again. It's connected to your phone's GPS, so everyone it pulls up is in your area. I've had 7 matches so far, and chatted with one of them. The fun part, is you can say "dang, I'm chatting with this really hot guy" because you already decided he was, and you already know they find you attractive. 

No-No's I have learned during my 24 hours on Tinder.

1. No shirtless pictures. Guys, you get to choose what photos are shown. When you're shirtless, it says you love yourself too much, and you're an idiot.
2. No pictures of you and a small child, I assume that child is yours. I'm not ready for that. 
3. Post a duck-face selfie, and I'm saying no.
4. No pictures where you look super trashed
5. No pictures where alcohol is displayed
6. If your smile looks creepy, don't post the picture. Once again, you get to choose the photo. Why you creepin'?

When I got my first Tinder match, I almost died with nerves. Luckily, just because you match, doesn't mean you have to talk to them. #win. For now, it is just a highly addictive game with little to no consequence in my life.  I'm more than okay with that. I'm getting used to meeting new people again, and it's starting to be fun. My friend who convinced me to do Tinder, has said to use it as practice talking to people. Work bestie Charles says I can practice trying not to be awkward as much as I want, but it probably won't change much. :D All I know, is I'm so far out of my comfort zone, that's I am definitely learning things and growing. 

A Workaholic's Tale (Part 2)

Short post with four funny stories from the summer at work. Because I started writing these post but stopped and now I will just post them.

After Philly, I had a super lazy weekend, spending it at home and enjoying Father's Day with my daddy. Then I had to hop onto a plane to Illinois. I started reading American Sniper and was loving it. As I met up with Dan & Tim, I was telling them about how much I love the book so far, and Tim was like "Isn't that guy dead?" And I was like, no, it's an autobiography, he's alive to write it." Tim said "noooo. i'm pretty sure he was shot this year while out working with returned vets." I looked it up, and he was right; Christ Kyle was killed this year, on Groundhog's Day while working with a returned vet who snapped and killed Chris,  another person, and then himself. It was really heart-wrenching news. I felt like my own friend was killed.

When you're on business trips with the same people over and over, you tend to get to know a little about each other rather than small talk all the time. We were talking about me not having a boyfriend. Tim told me "You have a car and a career; you dont need a boyfriend." He then went on to explain how boyfriends would be jealous of all the time I don't spend with them, because I travel for word and am never available. I said, "errrr...i'm pretty sure and car and career aren't good boyfriend substitutes" but I dont think he really understood. lol.

The next tale takes place in Atlanta. We were in the office for a long day of too much working. I take a break to read the news because Lindsay messaged me that there was an announcement with the Supreme Court ruling over gay marriage. I read the articles, and casually say "The Supreme Court announced their ruling on gay marriage." One of my co-workers looks at me and says "Do you fly the rainbow flag?" I pause and look at him saying "excuse me?" and he repeated his question. I said "I think you need to stop and think about  what you want to ask me and re-phrase your question." He did not. Paul is sitting across the table gawking at us, and I say "Paul, are you hearing what I'm hearing?" and Paul says "Yeah. It sounds like he's asking if you're gay." I nod my head and look at the guy and he's like "that's not what I meant" and I just had to laugh because it was such a horribly worded phrase, but it broke up the monotony of a long work day with a chuckle.

About a month later, (7/31) Paul is visiting Houston and having a workshop with Lindsay and me early in the morning. He is on the phone talking to someone and was like "yeah. natasha is waking up right next to me." He then pauses, looks at me and says, "that didn't come out right"  I think the best part of that day was during lunch when Paul opened up to us about how he used to work too much, and it started causing marital issues. He told us of how his wife gave him an ultimatum and how he felt that the Spirit told to discuss this with his boss, was also a Christian. His boss told him to cancel all his meetings and phone calls, and go home to talk to his wife. They talked and went to marriage counseling and really began to communicate better. He realized that he needed to make his family a higher priority than work and make sure he's making time. This made me stop and pause, because if I look at my life right now, there is little-to-no work/life balance. I may not have a spouse or kids who are suffering from my work schedule, but I'm working too much and not having enough me time. It's starting to affect my life. I went to get a facial and even the lady was like "you are breaking out girl" and it is the first time in my life that i am getting stress acne. It's gross. It is making me sleep less because when I get home, I want to stay up and do me-time things. It makes me re-think my priorities. What am I willing to sacrifice to have a successful career? How important is a high-level career to me? Is this what I want to do for the rest of my life: work long hours to make money, but not necessarily have time to turn off my brain, lay in the grass, and relax? What do I want in life, and how do I obtain it?