Online...what? Dating? Seriously?

P. Bunk always said:  There's no comfort in a growth zone, and there's no growth in a comfort zone. Well P. Bunk, here's to you and one of the most influential phrases in my life. I declare 2014, my Year of Growth.

• Uncomfortable Growth Moment 1: January. I became activities co-chair. A social position. I have to talk to people and organize events. It's not bad, but after giving into my introverted anti-social self for the last half of 2013, it's a growth moment for me.
• Uncomfortable Growth Moment 2: February. I've decided I need to meet new people. A social decision. I really just work, go to the gym, and go home every day. I love my routine, but I don't meet new people. I decided I would try online dating. In this technological world, maybe that's the only way to meet new people.

My one of my co-worker uses Match.com, and he tells me and Lindsay about his experiences, which seem relatively normal. Lindsay has also meet lots of normal cool people who have told her they use Match.com. These thoughts definitely went through my head as I made my decision. I also accepted the challenge to start working on one of my new years resolutions. One of my resolutions was "Start dating again. Maybe put some effort into it". I thought of these aforementioned reasons and then was like "NOOOOOOO" because the idea of dating gives me anxiety. After being talked down the ledge and getting support from some friends and hermanita, I decided to join and LDS dating site. Saryah and I were joking about login names, and sadly, it turns out that the login name is permanent. Therefore, my login name is really ridiculous, which, I guess will help sort through guys who don't have a sense of humor, or are strange. Please see below example of a strange one.

As soon as I joined the dating website, I felt like I was going to die. Have I mentioned that the idea of dating gives me anxiety? So far, it hasn't been as terrible as I thought. I just have to stop stressing out. If I act like they are just future friends, my anxiety goes away. It's a little mind trick I'm trying out. So far, it's been effective. There is a quiz you can take on the website, and one of the questions was how do you define yourself. I couldn't choose between Comic Relief or Brains of the Operation. I was leaning towards Comic Relief (I mean, are you even reading this post?) but Erica said I was the brains. Well, if you insist. Currently, I am at about four days on a dating website, and 24 hours on Tinder. 

This is my Tinder thing. I'm forever in love with this pic
and happy Marijn took it. 

Tinder. That's right. Lindsay explained this to me a few months ago, but I'm surprised at how many people don't know what it is. A brief explanation: it is the most superficial way to meet people in the world. A picture of a person pops up, and you swipe left if you are not interested or swipe right if you are interested. If you are both interested, you get a match and have the opportunity to chat. If not, it's anonymous, so they'll never know, and you never see their picture again. It's connected to your phone's GPS, so everyone it pulls up is in your area. I've had 7 matches so far, and chatted with one of them. The fun part, is you can say "dang, I'm chatting with this really hot guy" because you already decided he was, and you already know they find you attractive. 

No-No's I have learned during my 24 hours on Tinder.

1. No shirtless pictures. Guys, you get to choose what photos are shown. When you're shirtless, it says you love yourself too much, and you're an idiot.
2. No pictures of you and a small child, I assume that child is yours. I'm not ready for that. 
3. Post a duck-face selfie, and I'm saying no.
4. No pictures where you look super trashed
5. No pictures where alcohol is displayed
6. If your smile looks creepy, don't post the picture. Once again, you get to choose the photo. Why you creepin'?

When I got my first Tinder match, I almost died with nerves. Luckily, just because you match, doesn't mean you have to talk to them. #win. For now, it is just a highly addictive game with little to no consequence in my life.  I'm more than okay with that. I'm getting used to meeting new people again, and it's starting to be fun. My friend who convinced me to do Tinder, has said to use it as practice talking to people. Work bestie Charles says I can practice trying not to be awkward as much as I want, but it probably won't change much. :D All I know, is I'm so far out of my comfort zone, that's I am definitely learning things and growing. 

Boys, Work, & Life

source: iwastesomuchtime.com

Let's talk about feelings right now. I remember a few years ago, I was talking to my friend Greg, and he made the comment that all girls are crazy. Being in my state of denial and haughtiness, I thought, "yeah, right, i am so sane and normal". Now, age and clarity have settled into my life and I realize, he's so right. lol. por ejemplo, i have met this guy who makes me super nervous, and this causes me to act really weird because my nervousness overrules my ability to seem any kind of cool. I say weird things and my face turns red. Lindsay thinks it's adorable I have a crush on someone. Me? No. I dont like him. Why? because he doesn't like me. #girllogic

Let's start with an amusing anecdote. Anecdote, not antidote. Because one will help you if you are dying of a crazy disease, and the other would not. I was talking my friend Petra and she was asking me if there were any boys I liked. I said something along the lines of "no, boys suck" and she asked, "are you sure you even like boys?" lol. I said "oh, i like boys." that's the problem. I just know what I do and don't want. Mix that with the phrase "he's just not that into you" and you get my life.
Boy Rant: Complete

So one time someone asked me, why dont you write about what you do at work more? and I thought, 'why do you want to hear about what I do at work? #boring' But I will tell you. I normally enjoy what I do at work. Our company is divided into two sections. In one of the sections you have the president of that section and his VPs. I work with the VP of Manufacturing. He tells me what he wants, and I make it happen. I like what I do. I like making things happen. However, I hate when he asks me to do impossible things, because he doesn't realize they are impossible, so I end up trying super hard to make it happen only for it to never work. I almost made myself cry the other week because I thought he would be upset that I could make something happen he wanted to happen, be he was like "okay" and moved on. Now he wants me to do something in SAP that everyone is telling me I cannot do, and he's like."....mmmmm, i think you can". So I shall continue on my quest to make the impossible happen so I can create a graph about it and send it to him. He loves graphs, data, and powerpoint presentations. He's awesome, and challenges me, which I like. If I didn't respect him as much as I do, I would probably not try as hard as I do. But he's legit, and knows what he's talking about. It's cool. 

Another work story: last week, I was put on a the a materials management team for our Petroleum facilities. Oh man. This team is awesome. I met up with them a little late because we were all stuck in traffic, but it was at a different one of our Houston locations, so I go to be out of the office for the day. It's a team of four men. One of the guys described the group quite well, "We laugh a lot, because if we didn't, we would die of boredom". Let me just say, I laughed a lot that day. We had a good productive meeting, and one of the guys at that facility was our host, and he was intense. He asked if we wanted anything and I said a water. He said they didn't have cold bottled water, and I was like, "ok, nevermind" but he went and got some water bottles, and stuck them in the freezer and brought one out when it was cold for me. It make me feel super awkward, and all the guys laughed about it. 

source: iwastesomuchtime.com

I may or may not have caused a minor Cold War with me and this lady who is a total arch nemesis. Luckily I defused the bomb with the best defense mechanism...playing dumb. It worked. She's still a total arch nemesis, but now I don't get scared when i see here because I know it's not just directed at me, but to everyone. Also, I had to keep my own anger at bay when my xenophobic co-worker said a racist comment and thought I was joking when I told her it was racist and that I took personal offense to the comment. The cold shoulder lasted the rest of the week, but had to end because I gave a lesson at FHE about how everyone can get angry but disciples of Christ forgive and are loving. I made the promise, I would try to let it go, so I am.
Work Rant: Complete

So work bestie Charles, grew up as an expat. he was told me that he received kidnapping training when he was little. He got a phone number he could call from anywhere in the world and was told they would have someone there within 24 hours of the phone call. I said that wasn't very impressive, because they could have you moved within 24 hours. However, the guy told him that the first rule to being kidnapped, is to not get kidnapped. (i know, right?). The guy said to kill as many of them as possible, because the worst that can happen is them killing you which is probably better than then holding your for ransom, torturing you, and cutting off body parts to send to your family for proof that you're alive. This convo happened because I told Charles about when I was out with David, I asked him if he was going to sell me me into the sex-slave trade and he looked at me and said, "depends how much they offer". #germanhumor

Now what to say about the past few weeks since I've posted. Well, being older has is perks. As in one perk I can think of: I can now rent a car without paying extra for being underage. Please note: pretty much only america has this dumb tax. #embarrassing. Since my birthday I have:

• decided I'm want to hang out with little Ron Weasley forever, because, let's face it, he's adorable. 
• hung out with Alison, who I haven't seen in forever. She's moved back to H-town, and in celebration, we made dirt pudding, texted Chad a picture, and watched a movie. Just like old times. Love it. 
• had a Spanish Saturday, where Laura was dying the whole day and slept in the car while we were in downtown. Christina, Teri Jo, and I ate tapas, and even though they had papas bravas on the menu, it was a sham. So sad. Papas bravas are my fav tapas. Then we went to the Museum of Fine Arts to see the Spain art they brought from El Prado. Oh El Prado. Oh Spain! Te echo de menos. 
• had a dentist appointment. My dentist is cool.
• been a super lazy bum and have done a lot of nothing. 
• seen Cirque du Soleil with Saryah. It was magical. I loved it, and I'm pretty sure that I looked like a dork just staring in awe of the cool stuff. It really made me appreciate the wonderful gift we were given from God to come to earth and get a body. So cool. Another fun part was that we ran into Sam and his brother Oliver, who were also out and about as siblings. #siblingpower
• become lucky enough to get an invite to David's house for dinner with the sisters. Laura got one too and we got to experience David's great cooking. I'm impressed. Way to go. We had such a fun time together. Then Laura and I headed to the Chili Cook-Off together.
• seen a chili eating contest and a pie eating contest at the chili cook-off. Never have seen one of those before. The chili contest was painful to watch, especially since I had spicy thai food earlier that week and was dying from the mild curry. 

The best part of my post-birthday life, is that I pulled Walk-To-Remember wish. I witnessed a miracle. It was one of those miracles that have nothing to do with you, but have everything to do with someone else. But I was blessed enough to be a part of it. I am so grateful. When I wrote it in my journal, I remembered one of the reasons I write a blog; when I hand-write things, it takes forever because i write with so much detail that my hand cramps and it's insane. I won't write much more about it on my blog because I don't want to trivialize the experience, but it strengthened my testimony that God knows His children and loves every single one of them, whether they are aware of it or not. Plus, I was able to give a talk in church, which always makes me happy. Pretty much, it had been a great Sunday, that ended with Stevie & Sonja coming over with their kids and us having lots of fun. I guess that's why I was having such a rough past two weeks. it's always right before the really good that Satan tries to derail us with really bad.

"Fear not; only believe. This is a time to make resolutions that will be binding upon you. This is a season to set standards that will hold you to the right course and make you happy now and in the years that follow." -Gordon B. Hinckley,  “Fear Not; Only Believe,” New Era, Jan 2000, 4

P.S. There is a really real possibility that they are going to start production on a Veronica Mars movie this summer. #dreamsdocometrue

PPS. I read this great article on International Women's Day about women in the workplace and them balancing work and family. It was written by a successful business woman and mother, and I loved it. It really spoke to me.

PPPS. Lindsay sent this one to me. It made me realize how much I have appreciated the de-cluttered life of living out of two suitcases. I did it on a mission and I'm doing it again my first year of employment. It's funny because whenever I go home, I realize how much stuff I have and how I haven't missed most of it or even thought of it. It makes getting rid of stuff much easier. But be warned, I may be transitioning into a more minimalist mentality, but that doesn't mean that I'm not planning on going shopping this weekend to buy some new clothes.  ;)